I · will · pry · open · as · many · minds · as · I · can

Ah, la nostalgie, c'est dangereuse, non? Il y a seulement une année...; peut-être que ce soit possible aujourd'hui-- Mais qu'est qui a changé? Impossible à savoir.

People. The internet and people. Can't live with 'em...

Why, yes, I am cracked. Don't I have a right to be?

"Protect them," he said, but I didn't think he meant from this.

I wonder how bad it would be, drowning. ...Wonder how long my breath would hold; how much water I'd swallow; how panicked I'd get before passing out. Wonder if it would be enough, just to stick my head in the rain barrel, or would I have to go down to the lake? Would I retch at the taste of lake-water? And what does one wear, to a drowning? I suppose it doesn't matter. Not any of my sweaters; it makes me sad, to think of them waterlogged and ruined. What about a sundress, and a belt of rocks? Go out in pre-Raphaelite glory.

I wonder how long it would take them to find the body, whether I'd drift up and be pulled ashore dimmed but lovely, ghostly beauty, like Eustacia Vye?

Probably not.

Would someone please sweep up all the dandies into a dustpan? I am so weary of them.

I've been seeking a patron. It's devastating work, acting beautiful and agreeable, looking people in the eye all the time. Still, I suppose it must be done--how am I to feed my cat otherwise? Damn Samuel for going away... But I shan't think of that. I shall think of how things will be when I am well-kept again. New frocks, good coffee, pomegranate juice with breakfast...

Samuel and I are in a feud. I poured all his bourbon down the sink. Won't he be angry when he finds out, but he's away now, took up his pitiful moth-eaten suitcase, emptied his top drawer into it, and out the door he went. Don't know where he is now. I don't care either.

I'm going to go have a cigarette on the patio and blast Wagner on the phonograph.

Splitting headache. Where is my fainting couch? The gremlins have run off with it. I shall have to lie on the floor, and muss my hair. Rum.